Wide Open Spaces

The kids -- by which I mean Shae and Joey plus my sister and I -- spent a lot of time running around outside this weekend, even though it was not particularly warm and not particularly green. We still managed to have a good time, all things considered.

Apparently rolling down the hill over and over and over again until your mother is just about ready to puke is the COOLEST. THING. EVER.

Climbing trees with your aunt is also apparently hella fun. (And it's not like your mother is going to do that with you -- what, and fall out and break your arm and die a horrible death like that guy in A Separate Peace? No thanks.)

Ditto, apparently, running wild in the streets like some kind of feral succulent wild child. Well, okay, running as "wildly" and as "ferally" and as "succutlently" as is possible with half a dozen adults around. You know, supervising.

My daughter thinks that kissing someone on the cheek for a really long time -- like, two seconds, which IS practically an enternity in kid years -- is "making out." Let's not tell her otherwise until her father is 70, okay?

Oh and we let the kids pretend to drive the car. That was probably the highlight of the entire weekend, and the one thing that they both wanted to do over and over again (except roll down the hill, which I DON'T EVEN).

It was so much fun, you guys. And I have like 900 more pictures to sort through yet!

Barrel of Monkeys

Now that we have opened all the Christmas presents in the Western Hemisphere (and probably a couple that were sucked over from the other side of the world, since my kid's giant head of hair has its own gravitational pull), we got back to the part of the holidays that is REALLY what's important: gnoshing on newborn baby heads.

No, just kidding -- although don't keep living in denial, either; baby heads smell delicious. But we are spending a lot of time hanging out and letting the kids do some bonding.

Well, okay, technically Joey and Shae are doing all the bonding, and the various and sundry grownups are standing just off-camera cursing under their breath about how these kids don't take any direction AT ALL, and Makayla is doing a lot of sleeping, but there's not a whole lot else she could be doing at this point, since she is only two weeks old. I guess she could be screaming; I really don't know. I haven't spent this much time with a kid that small since my sisters were babies, and I was still pretty much a baby myself then.

Joey LOVES Makayla. He likes to be around her all the time, touching her and kissing her and loving her. Not at all unlike how Shae was when Joey was still a baby and not the wriggly giddy hunk of toddlerhood he has become.

Someday I will figure out the exact mathematical formula to express how much more difficult it becomes to take pictures when you have three adorable children involved, instead of just two -- especially because I tend to have trouble with just the ONE. We may be talking imaginary numbers, or particle physics, or string theory, or something.

This is not Shae's first rodeo with a little cousin, so she seems to have a better practical understanding of the concept of "gentle." She does not handle it well when Makayla cries, but that doesn't happen often (yet), and to be perfectly honest, I am not so good with crying babies myself.

Isn't it nice to see that after how many millions of pictures and one extra grandchild, we're still not getting any better at sitting still for a family picture?

The Dude

For the next couple of days, I will be in my Happy Place. Well, not under the dryer at the salon, getting my hair done -- my Other Happy Place. With my daughter and my nephew (and all those other crazy people we are related to). But mostly with my daughter and my nephew. They're the important ones.

I'm glad they're in town this week -- Thanksgiving isn't the same when your whole family isn't together. And we're planning on a LOT of togetherness, starting tomorrow, when we take a day trip into the Great Big City filled with all the Dinky-Doos.

There will be shenanigans afoot, believe me. SHENANIGANS! And it's going to be AWESOME.

I Can Has Joey Burger?

I am looking forward to vacation for many reasons -- not the least of which is getting away from work for more than a few hours at a time (and believe me when I say that I am not going to think about that place once, except in passing while I'm sitting on the beach with my toes in the sand, eating frozen grapes and cold melon chunks and thinking, "HAHA SUCKERS!") -- but near the top of the list of things I am most looking forward to is spending time with my nephew.

My delectable, delicious, delightful nephew. Sweet cracker sandwich, do I love this kid! And how lucky are my parents, that we have the 2½ most adorable children in the world for their grandchildren?

Sometimes I miss when Shae was this age, almost 2, when everything they do is completely adorable because they're so excited to be able to do stuff on their own. I never thought that watching a kid play with a dehumidifier would be fascinating, but yet I could sit in front of my computer, hooked up to Skype, watching Joey do just that all day long.

It certainly doesn't hurt that playing with that thing gives him so much unmitigated joy. Just look at him -- doesn't he make you want to yell "HOORAY FOR APPLIANCES!"? No? Just me?

Oh, come on now: "HOORAY FOR APPLIANCES!"

Yes, Joey, we're ready to go too. SHAE! is ready. (That's just how he says it, exclamation point implied and everything.) We're all ready, and we can't wait to see you. And you look very tasty and nutritious, and I will EAT YOU UP WHOLE. Nom.

(PS: I am not a cannibal, I just play one on TV, but COME ON -- look at that kid and tell me he doesn't look delicious.)

The Boy Is Back In Town

Look who popped in for a visit over the long weekend: Cousin Joey!

Shae has referred to him as "Baby Joey" for so long that it's hard to break her of the habit, but he's not really a baby any more, is he? He's a full-blown toddler now, and it is pretty awesome.

I mean, Shae has trouble with boundaries, and what is and is not appropriate behavior around kids younger than she is, but Joey is an absolute trooper. He followed Shae around for a lot of the weekend.

From what I understand, he was calling for Shae when we weren't around, and I can tell you that hearing him say "SHAE!" is the cutest thing that I have ever heard in my life. He says it just like that, too, with the implied exclamation point and everything. Adorbs.

Not only does he have excellent taste in favorite cousins, he also has fantastic taste in hats and mothers, and he rocks the snot out of that little rashguard shirt.

And he loves everyone. He let lots of people hold him. Wandered right up to me one time and said "UP!" and when I grabbed him he clapped. Like I'm a Pavlovian test subject and he had just given me the proper reinforcement.

Shae's already asking when we're going to see him again, and making crazy little preschooler plans. She can't wait to get the band back together. And can you blame her, really? Just look at this kid. Our family is full up with awesome, beautiful children.

Family Resemblance

Among the many things about my nephew that I can't get over -- how small he used to be, how big he is now, how much he's grown and changed already, how much more growth and change there will be, how woefully unprepared I am to deal with all of this, how much even more so my sister must be -- but among all these things, the two things I have the most trouble dealing with are how much this kid looks like my sister ...

... and how much this kid acts like my daughter.

Guess the question of nature v. nuture is settled, right? It's both.

You Are

I am now the parent of a PRE-SCHOOLER. It's official, because today she moves into her new classroom, and she'll be sharing her birthday cupcakes with her new friends.

Here's her birthday movie. You can watch her getting older in every picture. It's cool and creepy and I think I need to lie down. I am not ready to be old, even though I already am.

Happy birthday, Boo.

Far Away, So Close

We survived our trip to foreign exotic New Jersey, and while I know that sounds typically melodramatic of me, let me just say this: JUGHANDLES. OK? To get to our hotel we needed to make a U-turn on Rt. 73, and it was everything in the world except pretty.

This is your typical, obligatory "Shae in the hotel room" picture. She's watching "Madagascar 2." We watched a lot of TV on Friday night, because she pretty much refused to go to sleep until the Olympics opening ceremonies were over. She saw everything but the cauldron lighting. Her favorite part, and mine, was the Joni Mitchell number with the flying boy.

When you finally get inside CoCo Key -- you have to kind of run a Habitrail from your hotel room through the entire first floor of the hotel (which is what we did) or you can get a day pass and come in the front door -- you're can be overwhelmed by how much stuff is there. (I was.) It's two stories, with a giant interactive water play structure right in the middle, filling almost the entire main floor.

Upstairs is a smaller swim-in theater, which is basically a pirate ship inside a wading pool, with fountains and bouncy water swings for babies and a couple of small slides. The sail of the ship is a screen where they show cartoons for the kids. (SpongeBob SquarePants, of course.)

And here is my kid, the crazy rebel, going down a waterslide feet first, on her stomach. After the lifeguards were repeatedly telling other kids not to do this very thing. We had to bench her after this for a little while, so Mommy didn't have a stroke. (By the way -- not a whole lot of picture of her from this trip, because I was unavailable for pictures due to actually participating. I KNOW!)

There isn't really much to say about it -- we only stayed for a few hours, because we were all tired and cranky from being up late the night before, not sleeping well in a strange bed, and we were at the water park on a Saturday after a solid week of snow, so it was pretty crowded -- but we had a nice time. It was definitely nice to get out of the house, inhale some chlorine, put our bathing suits on, get our feet wet.

I'll write some more tomorrow (because I didn't take ONE SINGLE PICTURE yesterday, so I need to stretch this out, haha) but the short version of the story is: it doesn't beat going to the actual beach, but if it's the middle of February and you've been stuck inside and you want to do something fun, I can recommend CoCo Key if there is one near you. Don't tell Shae you're going though because she'll stow away in your suitcase.

The Frontyardigans in "The Snow Dorks"

Sorry, really bad and punny title, but we are watching an episode of The Backyardigans right now -- "The Snow Fort" -- and let me tell you that for me, the absolute worst part of being snowed in for-potentially-ever isn't the fear that we're eventually going to run out of food (that's why we have cats) but the terrifying prospect of never watching a TV show targeted at adults again. I mean, I don't mind The Backyardigans at all -- it's kind of cute, really -- but are there only 5 episodes, or what? Because I find myself singing this "Snowball Duty" song to myself and I really kind of want to stab myself in the brain.

ANYWAY.

I think we've gotten over a foot of snow already and it's still snowing, and at some point we're going outside to play and shovel. Hypothetically, anyway -- I don't really know how much playing we're going to be able to do with the snow up to our knees and all. I figured as much (never trust car salesmen or weathermen, I always say) so last night before it got bad Shae and I went outside for a few minutes to check everything out.

And you know, when they're calling for up to 24" of accumulation and I want to get a head start on keeping the sidewalk clean, the very first thing I say to myself is, "Self, you better get your little plastic rake!" (LIES -- the first thing I say is not to myself, it's to my husband, and it's, "Babe, set the shovel and get work and while you're on your way out can you please get me the Jaegermeister out of the freezer?")

So. Anyway. If you like snow, then enjoy your snow day. Go outside, get some air, have some hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, but whatever you do, STAY AWAY FROM NICK JR. Trust me on this one.

Dial "N" for Nana

This headline has nothing to do with this post, except that it gives me an excuse to use the below picture, which I love for reasons that even I don't understand. It's just cool and vaguely creepy.

It has absolutely bugger-all to do with the rest of the pictures you're going to see. Sorry about that. It was taken on the same day, though. So I suppose that's something.

Despite my best efforts to raise my child as a brain-damaged future lesbian -- oh, wait, I'm not, I just want her bits covered so doesn't end up in a Girls Gone Wild video. Anyway. I'm not really a girly-girl and I am trying blahblahblah I keep telling this same story, but the point is, I see no problem with nail polish.

Whatever. She usually scrapes it off with her teeth within a week anyway. But her nails don't get polished at home very often because it's a lot of work getting a little kid to sit still and not touch anything while you're waiting for polish to dry, and I know how much My Anonymous Mother likes to do it. And Shae loves the attention that a good manicure demands.

Plus, how can I tell her no when I know it makes her so happy?

Hello Kitty

There were some goings-on this weekend that I can't talk about yet or it will ruin the surprise, but I can tell you about our new bath towel -- how is that? Compromise?

Seems like there are a lot of bathtime pictures lately, and I'm not really sure why, except for that I think maybe Shae is missing the pool these days (sounds familiar). She asks to take a bath more often than not, and when we say no, she tries to negotiate for a "bird bath." And while I would like to give her "big ups" for wanting to be clean -- she's been learning about germs from Muno on "Yo Gabba Gabba!" -- I also recognize a stalling tactic when I see one, because I've been known to throw in a diversionary maneuver (or twelve).

Oh, and those curls and eyelashes? They are why God invented convent schools. Perhaps Sr. Mary Agnes can keep this one out of trouble ...

Neverending Story

Okay, now we are starting to approach insanity-pepper-and-space-coyote levels of crazy because holy tomato we are still opening Christmas presents.

We've been working on getting her to be more polite and stop asking "What do you have for me?" the second we walk in the door, but if this keeps up, that's never going to happen. Damn you, generous people, don't you realize you're jacking up our manners instruction?

The gifts were from one of the salespeople at work that I support. I like her anyway, so the bribes are totally unnecessary, but I appreciate them just the same. I have no adversion to other people treating my kid (as long as they don't try to spoil her). Last year she gave us a cute little dress that Shae wore for school pictures. This year, we got two "The Princess and the Frog" themed toys: a tea party set (yay! plastic!) and a Tiana doll.

Now, we haven't seen the movie, so I can't speak to whether it is good or not, or whether I like the character or not, or any of the stuff that my degree in Writing for Television, Radio and Film is good for. (No, really, that's my degree.) As you already know, I think "princess" is the single filthiest word in the English language, so the entire concept kind of gives me the dry heaves. (And no, I will not accept that The Cult of the Princess has become unavoidable in the raising of an American girl -- not on my watch!)

But at the same time, it's hard to be all about diversity when you're deliberately avoiding exposure to certain things, right? Our household is the very model of the modern poly-racial family -- we've got the white mom, the half-Latino dad, the bi-racial daughter, and even the partly Asian cat (Zöe is part Siamese) -- but what we aren't always tolerant of? Is different kinds of femininity than mine.

All of which is to say that it doesn't happen often, but sometimes we let her put on her crown and play princess. Sometimes. But only for a minute or two.

Froggy Went a-Courtin'

Sweet cracker sandwich, is it the weekend yet? God. It's going to be another one of those eternal weeks where I only get one day off because there are so many things still to do at the office. I need to clone myself or build myself a robot or something to put in all the extra hours at work, so I can be home more. I like home. Home is where the cookies are.

Anyway. Here, have some pictures of my kid in her froggy bath towel! They're really cute. (Although I cannot explain most of these facial expressions. Not that I can under normal circumstances anyway.)

I really can't wait for this year-end close to be over so I can go back to spending silly time with my kid and start thinking about a vacation. How long does it take to get a kid's passport? Maybe we'll take a cruise! (Haha. Or maybe we'll stay overnight in a hotel with a pool and take an inflatable dinghy.)

(Oh, and were you wondering why I called this "Froggy Went a-Courtin'"? Because I was going to call it "Bein' Green" originally, and when I was looking for pictures of my nephew in his bath towel for purposes of comparison, I saw that my sister used that title already for a similar blog post. And so I went with the only thing I could think of that had "froggy" in the title.)

((So, yeah, I punted. As usual.))