Flashback Friday!

UGH. It's mid-October, rushing headlong into LATE October already, and I haven't put up any pictures in 5,000 years because of reasons (mostly involving ways in which I suck). So today let's celebrate "Flashback Friday," where in this case we'll be flashing way the hell back to ... late August.

OF COURSE there was a slip-and-slide involved. Why wouldn't there be? It's not like we were at my uncle's house, in his backyard, where there is an in-ground pool with hot tub, or anything.

Isn't it kind of amazing how slip-and-slides are, like, the great social equalizer? I mean, sure, they're plastic-coated death traps, but have you ever met anyone who didn't have a great time at an event that featured a slip-and-slide?

I, personally, have not. I wish I had [1] a bigger yard and [2] actual water pressure so that I could put a slip-and-slide in my own backyard during the summer. I mean, we love watching "Adventure Time" while sitting in front of the giant-ass window air conditioner and eating popsicles, but sometimes you need to go out and make your own adventures, you know?

GUH, just looking at this pictures reminds me of how much I miss the summer already, and we have another nine months until it comes back around. This summer was weird, hot in the beginning and cool at the end and many kinds of sinus headaches in between, but the worst day of summer is still better than the best day of any other season except possibly my kid's birthday.

Okay, and maybe Christmas. I like Christmas. And Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving, too. Which reminds me: I just learned about bacon vodka and I am thinking about making bloody Marys to have with my Thanksgiving dinner that I'd make with our traditional V8 and bacon vodka, if I can find any. Doesn't hat sound delightful?

SHUT UP YES IT DOES. A bloody Mary made with V8 and bacon vodka sounds like Thanksgiving dinner in a goddamned glass. Veggies, bacon, and alcohol, all in a Dixie cup? That there equals ZERO clean-up, and if I have TWO I'd be asleep on my uncle's couch before everybody else even got home from the football game.

I also like Halloween, because I love Reese's peanut butter pumpkins. Although I will admit that, except for possibly pumpkin pie, which I adore (just the the crust -- only the pumpkin custard and whipped cream parts), I am kind of over pumpkin everything right now. But pumpkin-shaped chocolates? Yes please.

So here we are, face to face, a couple of Silver Spoons ... no, wait, that isn't right. Here we are, all caught up. Ish. I have more pictures to put up but I need to ease myself into it. For now, just enjoy this little flashback to the Last Major Federal Holiday. Hopefully this will be enough to get you through until next time.

(Oh hey I just realized there are no pictures of me as usual but I wanted to prove that I was participating in the festivities. So, [1] you can either pretend those pictures of my sister are actually me, or [2] you can enjoy this screen print of a Twitter conversation I had with an actual NPR personality. Your choice.)

Adventure Time

Shae has a bunch of stuff coming up this week that is probably a much bigger deal to me than it is to her: first flat-ironings, dance recitals, graduation, stuff like that. Milestones are kind of meaningless when you're six and your whole life is literally ahead of you. Of course, I'll be a total cracked-out mess, as usual, with all the pictures to prove it. In the meantime: a story.

= = = = =

We don't watch a lot of superhero shows in our house. We're not really opposed to them, in theory, but Shae is highly suggestible and we're just trying to be proactive about any potential behavioral changes that might result from exposure to stuff she's not ready for. Others probably call this a symptom of the "pussification" of our children; they're probably correct to a large degree. But at the same time, these Others don't have to live with a kid who thinks that all adopted children -- e.g., Superman, Hercules, the Power Puff Girls -- have either super powers or Daddy Warbuckses.

But like every kid ever born in America ever, my kid is at least aware of your major superheroes. Batman, Iron Man, Wonder Woman, etc. It might be a while before she understands why funny sideburns and yellow Spandex sometimes makes Mommy weak in the knees (by the old gods and the new, I hope this remains the case), but she knows who the X-Men are. And she already knows that when she grows up, she's going to be the superhero who saves everybody, "not just some silly boy who only saves the pretty girls with down hair."

So why is this blog post all pictures of my niece running around my uncle's back yard wearing a scarf around her neck, superhero-style?

Because more than once, when someone asked her who she was pretending to be, while she was doing this very thing ...

... my niece said, "Super-Shae!" And Shae would reply, "Makayla is my hero." And they were both right.

In Praise Of The Park District

One of the things that always impresses me when I visit my sister is that the city she lives in has lots of really nice public parks -- including a REALLY AWESOME water park.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

Exhibit D:

Exhibit E:

If my sister's kids were not cute enough to entice me to the Midwest, the Parks District might do it.

Where's Perry?

According to Phineas and Ferb, there's 104 days of summer vacation 'til school comes along just to end it, so the annual problem for our generation is finding a good way to spend it.

 

 

  

  

Looks like the next generation has it all figured out, though.

Zooropa

It's pretty much part and parcel that wherever we go on vacation, we go to see animals of some kind. It's how we roll. (PS: Proof that I actually saw the baby while we were out there.)

Usually it's the zoo, but we have been known to visit aquariums from time to time. Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago is one of my favorites because (1) it's free and (2) it has a big giant tractor.

Also: lots of places to pose the kids together, including but not limited to inside a "hollowed-out" log inside the gorilla exhibit, and in front of a male zebra. (Don't ask me how I know it's male or I'll be forced to tell you.)

It's a pretty zoo, too. Chicago is a pretty city. I am not one for "big cities," generally, what with the fact that I hate people and all, but at least the Lincoln-Park-Zoo-part of Chicago has lots of pretty things to look at (and excellent light).

Oh! And a carousel! Which was pretty much the hit of the visit. Anything that gets the kids to smile naturally is all right in my book.

Not to mention, the skyline makes a lovely backdrop for family pictures. (I still think Philly's is more spectacular, but Chicago's is quite photogenic.)

In Her Element

They opened the pool last weekend (the weekend before Memorial Day) and so you can guess how Shae spent the weekend.

She doesn't care that the water was only 64 degrees. DOES NOT CARE.

She's been waiting for weeks and weeks -- "it's been FOREVER, Mommy!" -- and as soon as she got the green light, she was in the water.

And looking fetching in matching sun hats with my niece.

 

And eating the first "official" cupcake of the summer season.

In her element.

Building The Perfect Beast

Do you realize how difficult it can be to get the "perfect" (HAHAHAHA) Easter portrait of your kid? Completely disregarding all the general tomfoolery associated with "staged" photo shoots, like having props and bribes and actual kid at the ready? And never mind the fact that you have to get the kid to even agree to cooperate in the first place, which is as probable as winning the lottery while being struck by lightning at the same time?

First attempt: too squinty. Also, the shadows are falling across her neck weird. Let's try this again.

Second attempt: more weird shadows. And for some reason now her skin looks a different color than it did before. I blame jellybean consumption.

Third attempt: wrong angle, and that POSE. I thought it would be cute, in theory, kind of like a faux-school-picture kind of thing, but obviously something went wrong here in the execution. (Plus, that isn't quite how I wanted her to pose, but it was the best I could do at the time.)

Fourth attempt: almost great, except for the shadows again. And I swear, I had her turning and spinning and moving all over the yard to try to get the right light angle. I think we had trouble because it was right at mid-day in the early spring and the sun was in Aquarius and Mercury was in retrograde. It's kind of obvious, really.

Fifth attempt: Almost perfect, except THERE IS A STICK GROWING OUT OF HER HEAD NOW. How long have we been outside at this point? (No more than 15 minutes.) And it looks like something might be missing, now, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Sixth and final attempt: THERE WE GO. Thanks, kiddo, you're done here. Now why don't you run off and change into your play clothes, but not before stopping in the kitchen for 2½ seconds? That's plenty of time to get hot bacon dressing on your sweater. (That totally happened.)

Slippery When Wet

This post is almost as much a love letter to my iPhone as it is to my daughter.

Last year, when she had her swimming lessons on Saturday mornings, I'd be out there every week with my giant camera, trying to capture all her "big moments."

This time around, her classes are on Thursday night, at 7:00, and I'm pretty much all, "Just don't drown yourself or anybody else."

It seems to be working out fine, because ... well, she's pretty much completely off floats, and she hasn't drowned herself or anybody else in at least a week.

I've noticed one huge advantage to the late-night lessons, too, which is that there are only like four kids in her class, so I can tell that she's actually working and paying attention in class.

And now I can just kick off my Crocs and roll up my pants and wade in with her, taking pictures with my cell phone, which is so small and light that it fits in my pocket, and I don't need to lug around that giant heavy bag to get grainy bad-light photos of her acting like a dork with complete abandon in her natural element.

Although those pictures I take with the big camera sure are pretty, sometimes.