The Washingtonienne

(You know what? The Washingtonienne is a terrible book. Don't read it. It's so bad I'm not even going to link to it. You can Google it if you want to, but don't say I didn't warn you. Nevertheless, it's a perfectly fine title for a blog post about my female child in D.C., so I'm using it.)

We're a month back from Washington and I already have pictures from Memorial Day weekend in my photostream, so it's time to get back to the action, no?

The day after we went to the zoo -- the same day my sister ran the Nike Women Half Marathon D.C. -- we slept in until the absolutely ungodly hour of 7:30 AM, and then we wandered the National Mall looking for the Au Bon Pain that the "Around Me" app on BOTH our iPhones kept promising was only 0.25 miles away. "We'll see what we can see before we stop for lunch," we said.

We headed around the Tidal Basin and stopped to visit the Jefferson Memorial, my second-favorite monument in D.C. We were too late for the Cherry Blossom Festival, unfortunately -- that ended about two weeks before we were there, because apparently I am incapable of scheduling my life around anything I actually want to do -- but you know, the entire Mall is quite lovely at that time of year, and since it was a Sunday morning, we didn't have to compete for photo opps with field trips.

This is just proof that I do stuff besides stand around for 45 minutes trying to frame up the best possible pictures. Sometimes I spent 45 minutes walking around buildings making someone else frame up the best possible pictures.

"Look, Mom! President Obama lives there!" (Waves furiously, I guess at the snipers on the roof? IDK.)

The way we walked, our next monument was the FDR Memorial, which is my very favorite place in D.C. It's very zen there, all water and copper and pretty dark stone, and I love it. Especially this statue, which features the dog ...

... and this staute of my homegirl Eleanor, which I actually DID wait about 45 minutes to get a picture of, because there were a whole bunch of tourists who kept walking into my shot, right up the statue, to LICK it. Seriously, WHO DOES THAT? This statue is OUTSIDE, and hundreds of people touch it every day. GROSS.

"Mommy, can you see if the brakes are on?"

The last time we were in D.C., the MLK Memorial was not yet erected. It is really quite something else, although I will never understand the choice of materials here. (You can link to whatever sources in the comments if you want, but I still won't understand the logic.)

The Lincoln Memorial is my third-favorite. I don't really know why I like Jefferson better -- I think it's the shape and the location. The Lincoln Memorial just seems so ... somber, maybe? More hallowed? Something. There are "ghosts" in there, is what I think I am saying.

(Incidentally, this was my first trip to D.C. with a good camera. That shot? Is all camera, except for cropping. I love my Precious.)

Another 45-minute setup, because there was open space, and BY GOD, this kid was going to RUN AROUND. I am not one of those people who puts "harnesses" on their children, but I can sometimes kind of see the point.

Under construction. (Renovations? Repairs?) Still damned impressive.

At this point she was trying to figure out how to fish change out of the Reflecting Pool so that we could go get something to eat. And to tie everything back to the Au Bon Pain - it isn't there. Or, at least, it isn't where the app told us it would be. We spent another hour or so looking for all these restaurants that Around Me kept saying were nearby -- 0.15 miles, 0.07 miles, 500 feet, 100 feet -- and it finally took a leap of faith and a DESPERATE need for a public restroom for us to discover that all the eateries were actually in the food court of the federal office building across the street from the aquarium in the Department of Commerce building.

No, I don't know why the aquarium is in the Department of Commerce building. I'm sure it made sense to SOMEONE at SOME POINT.

The other big bits of excitement on that day were that we got to ride (1) the Metro and (2) the Smithsonian carousel. Which, after 6 hours and approximately 5½ miles of walking around, are all she remembers anyway.

Miss Thing Goes To Washington

Am I the worst blogger ever? Probably. Because it's been almost a month since we went to D.C. for a little long-weekend mini-vacation, and I am just now posting the pictures. I mean, my sister was there at the same time (although for somewhat different reasons) and she had her posting up right away.

tl;dr version: YES I KNOW I SUCK AT MY OWN LIFE. Don't you judge me.

Anyway.

We wanted to go to D.C. because it's close and relatively cheap and there are lots of things to do that are kid-friendly. Especially if your kid is like my kid, who managed to find pretty much an infinite number of sources of amusement, and who has pretty much demanded that we go back there sooner rather than later. I love D.C. -- G and I went there on our first "couples trip," way the hell back in 1994 for Spring Break, when our coupledom was still in its babyhood -- and we try to get there as often as possible, which is unfortunately not as often as we'd like.

OF COURSE we went to the zoo. Are you new here? We always go to the zoo. Everybody always goes to the zoo in D.C., because the Smithsonian Zoo is rad and has pandas and stuff. Duh.

(BTW, I would like to interrupt this long-overdue blog post to complain about the new Flickr layout, because it stinks out loud and I hate it. What was wrong with the way things were, Flickr? Or, in your own parlance: CHG T BCK!*)

Since my sister and brother-in-law were in Washington at the same time, we got to hang out with my niece, who is seriously one of my three favorite kids in the whole wide world who aren't my own kid, and I'm pretty sure I would say that even if we weren't already related. Although the fact that she is the spit and image of my baby sister (except with adorable little toddler legs) certainly doesn't hurt.

(Which is not, by the way, meant to imply that my sister doesn't also have adorable legs, but, y'know, she's over 30, so I figure she now officially no longer qualifies as a "toddler," even though I still think of her that way sometimes because she will always be my baby sister.)

While we were at the zoo, we saw the usual assortment of wild creatures, including some kind of alligator thingy that just lay there basking in the sun like he was auditioning to be my spirit animal or something. (Because, I mean, is there anything I like better than lying in the sun? Only possibly lying in the sun with bacon and a bloody Mary, maybe.)**

Also, we saw an unimpressed orangutan, sitting up there in his little tower, silently (but visibly) judging us.

Kid is all, "Pshaw! I'll show you unimpressed."

BUT! We also saw young cheetahs playing with a ball in their pen, and according to my kid this was approximately THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED EVER LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU. I mean, seriously, she still talks about it. Ask her what her favorite part of the D.C. trip was, and she'll tell you, "Oh, that time! When the cheetahs! Were playing! With the red bouncy baaaaaaaaaall!"

I don't know where that kid picks up some of her more melodramatic behaviors. I really don't.

But this was probably my favorite part of our visit to the zoo: getting to see my husband's face when he gets to spend time with us, with basically no schedule, itinerary, or agenda. (He and I had dinner reservations to celebrate our anniversary, but if we really needed more time at the zoo together, we would have cancelled them [even though I am glad we didn't, because that lobster ravioli was DIVINE]).

 

Oh yeah, we also did the typical dork tourist thing, which will never not be awesome.

* "CHANGE IT BACK!" with  the vowels deleted because Flickr is missing an "E" ... get it? Ha ha?

** I am not joking when I tell you that I spent approximately 45 minutes on that paragraph, trying to make sure that I was using lay vs. lie and its various conjugations correctly. Grad school and studying for the PRAXIS have ruined me forever.

Now We Are Six

I may or may not have been saving that blog post title for the last five years, one month, and seven days. I can neither confirm nor deny. (But you already know it's the truth, anyway.)

"'What day is it?'
'It's today,' squeaked Piglet.
'My favorite day,' said Pooh."

"'When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,' said Piglet at last, 'what's the first thing you say to yourself?'
'What's for breakfast?' said Pooh. 'What do you say, Piglet?'
'I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?' said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. 'It's the same thing,' he said."

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why we call it the present."

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."

-- All quotes by A.A. Milne

Something Fishy

Hey, you guys remember that I have a kid, right? Probably not, because I haven't posted pictures of her in approximately forever.

There she is. She's about a hundred feet tall now.

We've only had one or two days of nice weather since the beginning of winter. This has been, like, a nuclear winter or something. It's awful. We're losing our minds.

Which may explain why we're making a fish mouth while we're sticking our face through the eye hole of a giant metal fish statue at the fish hatchery.

I keep trying to remember that Shelley poem, "Ode to the West Wind": If Winter comes, can spring be far behind?

We're all skeptical, but DEAR GOD I HOPE SO.

Point and Shoot and Cross Your Fingers

Because they are wonderful people who know how much I love toys, my husband and daughter got me a new camera for Mother's Day (which, yes, was a hundred years ago, but I have stuff going on, SHUT UP). Just a small little point-and-shoot, something in between Nikon-the-Wonder-Cam and the camera feature in my iPhone which is basically devoted to Instagrams of my garden because HELLO BEAUTIFUL SPRING. It's small, it fits in my pocket, and it will be great for those late afternoons in July when it's too danged hot and I'm too damned tired to carry my gigantic 12-lb. camera bag 500 yards to the playground.

Plus, IT'S PURPLE, y'all. They got me a purple camera. They were hiding under my porch because they love me.

You know you wouldn't be reading my blog if I didn't completely cop to "testing out the new camera" by setting up an impromptu "picnic" photoshoot in the backyard. Although in the interest of full disclosure, I wouldn't even have had the energy to do this if I hadn't gotten out of work yesterday at 11:30 due to an "evironmental hazard situation" (i.e., somebody got plaster on their desk from the work the roofers were doing and freaked right the hell out. Thank you, fellow hypochondriac with internet access!)

BTW, that isn't one of our cats hanging out with Shae. That's one of the semi-feral neighborhood kittens who lives under my back porch. We are not happy about this situation -- well, G and I aren't, but Shae is just thrilled. She calls them her babies and has named them all, even though technically their actual owners have (allegedly) named them. I don't know what Shae says their names are (I can't remember anything any more), but I call them Larry, Darryl, and Darryl because I can't tell them apart. (This one is Larry, the boy. I know he's a boy because he just loves to show us his, ahem, hairballs.)

Have to say, I really do like this camera. You can tell that the image quality is different from the Wonder-Cam, but for a point-and-shoot, it's pretty good. I still have to play around with the settings and stuff to figure out how everything works, to see if I can replicate some of the features of the DSLR, like the "Child" setting which is my very favorite because it's like instant Photoshop. I can't get that nice shallow depth-of-field effect that I get with my favorite telephoto lens because this camera doesn't have one, but like I said, it will be great for those late afternoons in July when it's too danged hot and I'm too damned tired to carry my gigantic 12-lb. camera bag 500 yards to the playground. (Also: easier to carry onto Space Mountain, when the time comes.)

I do need to learn how to work the focus better. I think it has auto-focus, but it also has a touchscreen, which is new and fancy and confusing and I'm such a Luddite that I haven't figured it out yet. Although, let's just admit it: it's going to be hard for me to get truly bad pictures with any camera when I have such a lovely model-muse. And it's not like I'm going to be able to get her to slow down or sit still or FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE LOOK AT ME AND SMILE no matter how sophisticated the equipment, anyway. (But that is why I have a niece who loves to look right at the camera and yell "Cheese!" At least for now.)

Wordless Wednesday: Columbines

Ain't No Party Like A Preschool Party

'Cuz a preschool party has a trampoline and an ice cream truck. HOLLA!

In case you were wondering: no, we did not intend to cut her hair that short. I am significantly less than happy about it, honestly, and in fact had quite a nice little nutty hysterical fit, but I'll be damned if the kid isn't enough of a diva to pull it off. It's longer than it was at first, since it's had a week to grow in already. On the plus side, her shower time has been cut in half, and we don't spend 45 minutes alternately screaming and then staring dumbly at each other in the morning trying to detangle / comb out / style her damn fool head.

Synchronized noshing. This picture gets me REALLY EXCITED about the photo possibilities for the summer, because I am that totally dorky aunt who bought matching outfits and swimsuits for these two so that I can do the whole "identical cousins" thing for next year's calendar. Because don't they look so much alike? Except my niece looks like my dad and my daughter looks like my mom and so basically they look exactly nothing alike?

For the longest time I thought I hit the jackpot, because Shae has so much personality and pizzazz in pictures, but it turns out I actually hit the jackpot at least TWICE, because Makayla loves posing for the camera, too. You can't really tell here, but she was pedaling herself backwards on this trike and saying "Vroom vroom!" the entire time and it was the cutest thing EVER.

I asked Makayla to show me her lollipop, and she held it out to me like she was going to let me have a taste, and then yoinked it away at the last minute, all "HA ha!" like Nelson Muntz. Booger. Wiseassery runs in the family, obviously. Must be something in the water.

Hey, look! CAKEFACE! Oh, how I missed it.

Not Yet Dead

Hi there! Are you still reading this blog? Thanks for that! I know it's been a while, but I have an excuse. Not a good excuse, of course. And not really an excuse, either. More of an explanation. Although it's not a good one, really. Mostly school. And work. And life. And some sort of vague depression-like thing that I am pretty sure is related to taking antihistamines non-stop since last August. Or something. Anyway.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AT THIS DIFFICULT TIME, is what I am trying to say.

While I was busy trying to remember what it was I was supposed to be doing this week, we found time to take in a Phillies game. A kind of combination gift for our anniversary (which was last week, even though I didn't write about it at the time, because of something) and my birthday (which is Friday, the Quatro de Mayo, so go on ahead and have a margarita or five, because some weirdo on the Internet told you it's okay). In what I imagine was a sign from the gods, it turned out to be the Phillie Phanatic's birthday celebration, although there was no cake, which is BULLSHIT.

SPOILER ALERT: The Phillies lost, because it's April, and they ALWAYS suck in April, no matter what the dodoheads I work with want to insist. Go ahead, read over the statistics. The Phillies are rarely, if ever, at .500 before May 1. I blame global warming, the Republican party, Hitler, polydactyl cats, and the fact that basically half the team always gets banged up during Spring Training. (I said BANGED UP, you guys, minds out of the gutter, okay?)

Anyway. Having a five-year-old at a baseball game is a lot different than having a 1½-year-old because toddlers understand the word "No." They don't like it, of course, but they understand it. And certainly they're not quite savvy (or TALL) enough to ferret out that if you wave your hat around and yell "OVER HERE!" at the cotton candy vendor then they'll stop and your parents will have no choice but to buy you some, just to avoid an Embarrassing Situation.

(I do not recommend buying cotton candy for a five-year-old at a Sunday afternoon game when the weather has been beautiful and you have been tailgating and she refused to eat anything except pickles and salsa and ice cubes. No good can come from that.)

And, I know I keep promising this, but I'm going to try to be more diligent about posting as we get closer to the summer and there are more pictures. Got a fancy new vibration reduction telephoto lens and a REALLY GOOD FEELING about the summer. Thanks for hanging in.