Falling For You

These kids in my family are weird. When we got out to Chicago for our big visit last month, the weather was lovely, sunny and clear and just a touch of that familiar autumnal chill, so the Grown Ups had this fabulous idea: let's rake all the leaves in my sister's yard into a big pile and jump in it! Fun, right?

So we raked and piled and organized as much as possible -- trying to get three kids to gather leaves into a single pile in the center of the yard where there is good light is about as simple as trying to explain the infield fly rule to Martians who only speak Swahili -- and made our fun little pile of fun. We figured that the most complicated part of this entire process would be trying to determine who would get to jump in first. Ladies first? Age before beauty?

Except THESE LOONBALL CHILDREN OF OURS did not want to jump in the leaves. We had to negotiate and cajole and bribe and practically threaten them to put the rakes down and stop doing work and GO PLAY, DARN IT. We eventually got them (2/3 of them, anyway) to roll around in the leaves, and thrown them, and stuff. Lollipops might have been involved. (Joey was unconvinced, regardless.)

Shae finally "saved the day" by burying herself in a pile and popping out and yelling "BOO!" at everybody. Except, um, she was in the wrong pile. Instead of the nice pile we made in the yard, she went and hid in the big pile in the front of the house, right on the street, in the pile that was waiting for the industrial leaf sucker. Le sigh.

Forward

First things first: obviously, I'm not doing NaBloPoMo this year. Or NaNoWriMo, either, for that matter. Just in case you were wondering.

Second things second: I'm sorry it's been forever and a day since I last posted. Would it help if I told you that in the meantime I've been driving through a hurricane and somehow landing myself in an honor society? No?

Third things third: because I know my audience (hi, Mom!) here are some pictures. I'm putting up the Halloween ones first because there is less than a week left until Thanksgiving and the pictures of the kids rolling around in the leaves will still be appropriate then.

 

It is COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE to get a photo of these guys where they're all looking in the same direction at the same time. But they ARE totes adorbs (hi, babe!) so WHATEVER.

  

Joey and Jacob may not, technically, have been aware that I was taking their picture here, but they're sure cute. And also total clones of my sisters, so obviously we know who their mother is.

  

I hope I never get tired of how Makayla follows Shae around everywhere, and how Shae does her best to be a good big sister, even though these two are cousins.

  

Of course, it is hard not to love this face, or this kid, who lets me pretend to eat her face and loves to play along with my favorite game, "Don't Drop The Baby!" When I say, "Don't drop the baby!" now, she says it right along with me. I miss this age, kind of, sometimes. And then I remember how often you have to say "No" to a two-year-old and I get over it.

  

If you think about it too long and too hard (or if, for example, you are a future literature teacher who's actually read The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and not just seen the Disney version of the movie), there is probably something inappropriate about letting my kid dress up as Esmeralda for Halloween.

  

But you know what? I've been accused of far worse than indulging my kid and her desire to redefine what makes a "princess," you know?

Hi, Mom! (A Drive-By Photo Dump)

Still from Chicago: Joey tentatively in the pool.

Still from Chicago: Joey ... dancing? ... near the pool. (I didn't know what this was when my own kid did it, either.)

Also still from Chicago: Shae bowling. Like a boss.

From when the Chicago peeps came to visit: Joey in the pool, for realsies. (Sorry for graininess - Instagram.)

Also from when the Chicago peeps came to visit: Our adorable (grand)children, because they are adorable, duh.

Also from when the Chicago peeps came to visit: even when she's being a grumpus, Shae still has a pretty cute face.

Later, gators!

A&R: TNG

I don't know a damned thing about golf, professional or otherwise, so let's just say we're calling the kids "Annika (Sorenstam) and Rory (McIlroy): The Next Generation" and be done with it.

I especially don't know anything about miniature golf. I am an absolutely TERRIBLE miniature golfer. If my husband had ever taken me on a miniature golf date, he'd never have married me, because he would have seen my Agony of Defeat face, and it is not NEARLY as attractive as my Thrill of Victory face.

Of course, my Thrill of Victory fact isn't actually all that cute, either. Winning at Trivial Pursuit all the time ever has made me smug and unpleasant. And also AWESOME AT TRIVIAL PURSUIT, BOOYAH!

These pictures are additional testimonials to the [Midwestern City] Parks District, by the way. This is an absolutely GORGEOUS miniature golf course. It was close to 100 degrees out that night, but we hardly minded, with the nice breeze over the pond and the flattering light and whatnot.

Incidentally: I'm not sure that the kids are entirely ready for miniature golf, per se -- they didn't really get the "gist" of it -- but it was HIGHLY AMUSING watching them wave their putters around all-devil-may-care about whether or not they shot someone's eye out.

Someone's been watching the Masters in HDTV. I'm not saying who. Because it might be me. But I'm not going to lie: the weekend we got our "new" TV I laid on the couch and watched Tiger Woods at Pebble Beach all weekend long and I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I wasn't even drunk or anything.

This picture is just here because it's one of the few where my nephew is not the EXACT AND ENTIRE spit and image of my sister. But he's still related to me, because he looks like a very young (say, age 3½) version of my cousin Michael.

And this picture is just here because ... wow. Clearly, vacation agrees with her, right?

Zooropa

It's pretty much part and parcel that wherever we go on vacation, we go to see animals of some kind. It's how we roll. (PS: Proof that I actually saw the baby while we were out there.)

Usually it's the zoo, but we have been known to visit aquariums from time to time. Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago is one of my favorites because (1) it's free and (2) it has a big giant tractor.

Also: lots of places to pose the kids together, including but not limited to inside a "hollowed-out" log inside the gorilla exhibit, and in front of a male zebra. (Don't ask me how I know it's male or I'll be forced to tell you.)

It's a pretty zoo, too. Chicago is a pretty city. I am not one for "big cities," generally, what with the fact that I hate people and all, but at least the Lincoln-Park-Zoo-part of Chicago has lots of pretty things to look at (and excellent light).

Oh! And a carousel! Which was pretty much the hit of the visit. Anything that gets the kids to smile naturally is all right in my book.

Not to mention, the skyline makes a lovely backdrop for family pictures. (I still think Philly's is more spectacular, but Chicago's is quite photogenic.)

I'll Take Blurry Pictures Out Of Context For $200, Alex

On Sunday night while we were in Illinois, we went to a community carnival -- the kind with kiddie rides and red velvet flavored funnel cake. (Which, incidentally, was fine, although I thought the traditional flavored funnel cake was better, and in any case, I will always prefer good old fashioned fried dough because COME ON.)

Joey found a ride he really liked. Actually, he liked several of them, but the car ride was by far his favorite, I think.

Sorry for all the blurry pictures, by the way. I did use the Magic Camera but the combination of low light, fast motion, and my complete and utter inability to hold the camera steady all conspired against me. (Even with vibration reduction on the replacement telephoto lens!)

I took Shae on my favorite ride at any carnival anywhere ever: the Tilt-A-Whirl. Yes, I know I am an Oldy McDustybones, but I can't help myself. I love the Tilt-A-Whirl. I have no shame about this. I can whip that suck around pretty fast, too. That's one of my more marketable skills, actually.

The kids went on four rides total -- the cars, the Tilt-A-Whirl (Shae only), this thing that was a spinning dragon thing that we didn't get any pictures of, and a kiddie coaster called the Dragon Wagon, which is possibly the greatest amusement park ride name ever. Say it with me: Draaaaaaaagon Waaaaaaaagon. See? AWESOME.

Shae is on this kick right now where she wants to scream all the time on all the rides. SCREAM. ALL. THE. TIME. It's cute for the first ride. It's even kind of cute for the second one.

But poor Joey had to listen to my kid AND HER GIGANTIC LUNGS screaming for like two hours, so yeah, I kind of understand that face he is making in that last picture. I imagine I was making the same one.

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For the next couple of days there might be duplicate photos, but I promise we'll get past them soon. Your patience is appreciated at this difficult time. Thanks! -- Ed.

Domestic Bliss

I don't know what YOU did while I was away on vacation, but I spent the week watching my daughter and my nephew (the 3½-year-old, not the 3½-week-old, obviously) be all thick as thieves, acting like methed-out monkeys high on Pop Rocks and Coke, as preschoolers are wont to be.

Actually, that's not true. I mean, yes, kids are oftentimes inclined to Behave Badly, but Shae and Joey were mostly on their very best behavior all week.

They even helped out with the yard work, even though it was 858°F or something. Those two are Good Do-Bees, as my grandmother would say.

Of course, it was easy to get Shae involved in the gardening when she found out that, in the Midwest, it involves a tractor. Vroom vroom!

I just wish that they hadn't tuned the radio on the John Deere to talk radio. How much funnier would these pictures have been if the soundtrack was "Call Me Maybe" instead of bloviating talking heads?

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For the next couple of days there might be duplicate photos, but I promise we'll get past them soon. Your patience is appreciated at this difficult time. Thanks! -- Ed.