That scarf is by Michael Kors. MICHAEL M-F'ING JUDGE ON M-F'ING PROJECT RUNWAY M-F'ING KORS. And that kid is ROCKIN' it like the superest supermodel ever. Naomi Campbell, watch your back, because Gladys Leibowitz rides again, people.
Showing posts with label Gladys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gladys. Show all posts
9.19.2011
Divalicious
These pictures need basically no commentary, so I'm just going to go ahead and throw them up for you to enjoy (although because this is my blog and I never shut up, I will have a few little things to say at the end).
That scarf is by Michael Kors. MICHAEL M-F'ING JUDGE ON M-F'ING PROJECT RUNWAY M-F'ING KORS. And that kid is ROCKIN' it like the superest supermodel ever. Naomi Campbell, watch your back, because Gladys Leibowitz rides again, people.
That scarf is by Michael Kors. MICHAEL M-F'ING JUDGE ON M-F'ING PROJECT RUNWAY M-F'ING KORS. And that kid is ROCKIN' it like the superest supermodel ever. Naomi Campbell, watch your back, because Gladys Leibowitz rides again, people.
4.25.2009
Well I Never!
When she isn't busy organizing the bus trip to Boca or giving the what-for to the guys from the lawn service, Gladys likes to stare out the window, watching the passersby ...
... and judging them.
She would not approve of me, I don't think.
4.19.2009
On My Way To Where The Air Is Sweet
Still haven't made my way through all the pictures from yesterday, but here are some more:
We should have known there were going to be shenanigans afoot, because this was the first picture of the day, taken before we even left the house. I don't know what she was doing -- G took this picture -- but you know it must have been something terribly important, because it involved a rake. (Looks like sooner, rather than later, she is going to understand what "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" actually means.)
"Gert, you're going to have to speak up, I'm on the cordless and I can't hear you over the lawn mower. Yes, I know that lawn mowing is man's work, but Herb won't get off the couch until the ball games are over and this crabgrass is getting out of control. What do you mean, 'you have a service'? Must be nice. Herb would never hire a service. We hired this neighborhood kid once, Gregory I think his name was, and let me tell you, he almost ate me out of house and home. And then he sat on the couch with Herb to watch the ball games. Tsk, tsk. Kids these days, I tell you."
Totally unfazed by rubber snakes. There are a few in the yard, I guess to keep the birds away from the garden beds while the seeds are still sprouting -- their efficacy is anecdotal at best. In any event, I don't remember being two, but I bet I was afraid of snakes. I don't think I ever really got over my fear of snakes until I went to Reptiland. Shae just ... doesn't even care. She even pretended one of the snakes bit me. Not Uncle Bill's relation, this one.
We should have known there were going to be shenanigans afoot, because this was the first picture of the day, taken before we even left the house. I don't know what she was doing -- G took this picture -- but you know it must have been something terribly important, because it involved a rake. (Looks like sooner, rather than later, she is going to understand what "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" actually means.)
"Gert, you're going to have to speak up, I'm on the cordless and I can't hear you over the lawn mower. Yes, I know that lawn mowing is man's work, but Herb won't get off the couch until the ball games are over and this crabgrass is getting out of control. What do you mean, 'you have a service'? Must be nice. Herb would never hire a service. We hired this neighborhood kid once, Gregory I think his name was, and let me tell you, he almost ate me out of house and home. And then he sat on the couch with Herb to watch the ball games. Tsk, tsk. Kids these days, I tell you."
Totally unfazed by rubber snakes. There are a few in the yard, I guess to keep the birds away from the garden beds while the seeds are still sprouting -- their efficacy is anecdotal at best. In any event, I don't remember being two, but I bet I was afraid of snakes. I don't think I ever really got over my fear of snakes until I went to Reptiland. Shae just ... doesn't even care. She even pretended one of the snakes bit me. Not Uncle Bill's relation, this one.
2.17.2009
Snowbird
BEEP.
"Gert, are you there? [louder] GERT, ARE YOU THERE? It's me, Gladys. [louder] I SAID IT'S ME, GLADYS. [muttering] I don't know, I think she has that damn answer-ma-jigger on, all I heard was some kind of 'beep' or something. [shouting] GERT, THIS IS YOUR FRIEND GLADYS. GLADYS LEIBOWITZ, FROM DOWN THE STREET. [muttering and crinkling] I don't know -- here, you take the phone, Herb. No, you don't need to --"
ANGRY TOUCHTONE NOISES AND A THUD.
BEEP.
"Gert, it's Gladys again. Sorry about that, you know how Herb is with the phone. Honest to goodness, it's not like he [rasies voice] WORKED FOR THE PHONE COMPANY FOR FORTY YEARS OR ANYTHING. Christ, that man, he gives me such agita. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we're leaving tomorrow for Boca. The nice girl from the travel agency, you know her, Pamela, she's Josephine Panto's daughter? Pamela says there is still room on the tour bus if you want to come. It's supposed to be twelve degrees next week, Gert. In Boca it's seventy. And Pamela says the resort where we're staying has shuffleboard and pinochle tournaments and bin --"
BEEP.
"Gert, it's Gladys again. [sighing] I think Herb was listening on the other line and he accidently disconnected us, or else your answer-ma-jigger is broken or something. Anyway, Pamela says there is suffleboard and pinochle and bingo every day and a nice early bird buffet with that creamed spinach you like, and she said if we want to we can even take a day trip to a [whispers] topless beach. So anyway -- [shouting] HERB, PUT THAT AWAY, I already told you we're not going to Tampa so you don't need your pirate sword, did you take your medicine today and honestly aren't you even listening to me? -- anyway Gert, we're leaving tomorrow, so try to call Pamela and see if you can still get on the bus. Okay? By --"
BEEP.
"Gert, I think your answer-ma-jigger is definitely broken. Anyway, just wanted to say goodbye. From Gladys. Gladys Leibowitz, from down the street. And I definitely know there is going to be a seat available on the bus because [loud clatter in the background] HERB I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO PUT RAT POISON IN YOUR COFFEE TONIGHT AND THEN SMOTHER YOU WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING, CAN'T YOU HEAR ME ON THE PHONE WITH GERT? Christ! Fifty years of this and I can't ta --"
Click. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
"Gert, are you there? [louder] GERT, ARE YOU THERE? It's me, Gladys. [louder] I SAID IT'S ME, GLADYS. [muttering] I don't know, I think she has that damn answer-ma-jigger on, all I heard was some kind of 'beep' or something. [shouting] GERT, THIS IS YOUR FRIEND GLADYS. GLADYS LEIBOWITZ, FROM DOWN THE STREET. [muttering and crinkling] I don't know -- here, you take the phone, Herb. No, you don't need to --"
ANGRY TOUCHTONE NOISES AND A THUD.
BEEP.
"Gert, it's Gladys again. Sorry about that, you know how Herb is with the phone. Honest to goodness, it's not like he [rasies voice] WORKED FOR THE PHONE COMPANY FOR FORTY YEARS OR ANYTHING. Christ, that man, he gives me such agita. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we're leaving tomorrow for Boca. The nice girl from the travel agency, you know her, Pamela, she's Josephine Panto's daughter? Pamela says there is still room on the tour bus if you want to come. It's supposed to be twelve degrees next week, Gert. In Boca it's seventy. And Pamela says the resort where we're staying has shuffleboard and pinochle tournaments and bin --"
BEEP.
"Gert, it's Gladys again. [sighing] I think Herb was listening on the other line and he accidently disconnected us, or else your answer-ma-jigger is broken or something. Anyway, Pamela says there is suffleboard and pinochle and bingo every day and a nice early bird buffet with that creamed spinach you like, and she said if we want to we can even take a day trip to a [whispers] topless beach. So anyway -- [shouting] HERB, PUT THAT AWAY, I already told you we're not going to Tampa so you don't need your pirate sword, did you take your medicine today and honestly aren't you even listening to me? -- anyway Gert, we're leaving tomorrow, so try to call Pamela and see if you can still get on the bus. Okay? By --"
BEEP.
"Gert, I think your answer-ma-jigger is definitely broken. Anyway, just wanted to say goodbye. From Gladys. Gladys Leibowitz, from down the street. And I definitely know there is going to be a seat available on the bus because [loud clatter in the background] HERB I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO PUT RAT POISON IN YOUR COFFEE TONIGHT AND THEN SMOTHER YOU WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING, CAN'T YOU HEAR ME ON THE PHONE WITH GERT? Christ! Fifty years of this and I can't ta --"
Click. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
NOTE: Links are to G's Facebook and you need to log in to see them -- and they might not even work, I'm not sure, I'm kind of dim 82½% of the time -- so if you want to take my word for it, they're links to more pictures of Cupcake with babushkas on her head.
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