I don't know which part of the story that I am about to tell you is weirder: that I actually did, in fact, attend a family picnic that included a pig head and wrestling, as I informed the whole of the Intertubes via Twitter yesterday -- or the fact that I stood there and took 100-plus pictures of it. But I swear to God, it's all true, even the part about kicking the keg. There were other people there. I have witnesses.

Too Darn Hot (90°F in the Shade)

In our defense, it was hot yesterday. Not quite as hot it has been, but still: hot hot hot. And as everybody knows, {heat} + {alcohol} + {my enormous bananapants crazy family} = EPIC SHENANIGANS.

Weirdest. Family. Party. Ever.

I mean, COME ON. These guys are (1) completely not gay, (2) related to each other, and (3) in their 30's. And yet, there they are. Wrestling. In my aunt and uncle's backyard. On purpose. For fun. At a party with a pig head. For serious. And yet I'm considered crazy. Mm-hmm.

ZOMG Bleeding!

For God's sake, there was BLEEDING. What the hell kind of people am I related to, anyway? (Answer: not-so-secretly awesome people, if possibly inbred, just a little. There ARE quite a lot of us, so no one is sure how we're all related, exactly.)

Bemused Detachment

All wrestling referees should be so handsome, no?

Papa, Paparazzi

And at least I wasn't the only one taking pictures. Although I was one of the first ... and I admit to totally being the loonball who moved around to get a better angle.

The Kids Are Alright

Even the kids were getting in on the action. It was surreal. And ...

(I put this jump here for the squeamish. I took a picture of the roasted pig head. I don't know why. It's strangely fascinating to me. Like, I know where my food comes from and stuff, but I don't usually get to see my bacon's face. I certainly don't get to see its teeth. So don't click if you don't want to, I won't be offended.)

And the piece de resistance: a real, live, (dead), pig head. Sadly, I was there too late to get pictures of the pig while it was on fire. That would have been awesome.

Pig Head

But, I mean, what do you expect at a party with a pig head and a keg and a couple dozen Haldamans? And I guess the more important question is: when are we doing it again?


  1. you know, even though I had a pretty good idea of what awaited me at the link, and you warned that it was gross, I still clicked, and I still curled my lip, said out loud, "Ew!", and then clicked back one page.

    yep. I'm perfectly sane.

  2. yeah, i suspect that i won't be eating bacon for a little while myself.

  3. but you ate the pork !!!!

  4. oh yeah, i ate the pork, and it was GOOD. but that doesn't change the fact that I SAW MY SUPPER'S TEETH. that's weird, you know?