Tempted

Oh, this kid ...

Yesterday turned out to be a nice day, even though they were calling for crappy weather. (FORESHADOWING!) After we ate our Father's Day Brunch at my parents', we went to my grandparents' to hang and cause our usual array of trouble.

My Anonymous Mother waited, lurking, stalking, and the very second that I fell asleep on the living room floor (we were watching golf -- don't you judge me!), she jumped right in there and snatched my kid and forced her practically at gunpoint to get in the pool. Forced, I tell you! Gunpoint!

I mean, look at the terror in her eyes! She is horrified! (Shut up, this is my story, I'll tell it how I want.) And of course the poor kid is absolutely mortified because the weather was supposed to be crappy (see above) so I didn't pack a bathing suit. That's right: my mother forced my kid to go skinny dipping* on a hot summer day.

Luckily I was around to document the scene (I believe I called it "fuckery" right in front of my grandmother); otherwise I would never have gotten this shot of my poor kid, half frozen (the water is still cold), breathless (she just go-go-goes like the Energizer Bunny), soaking wet. Call the U.N.! Violation of the Geneva convention!

Oh, well this makes it better. Never mind. Carry on.


* Not actually skinny dipping. She had on a swimmie-diaper. But she was otherwise butt-nekkid, which she thinks is hilarious. "Lookit, Moomy, I nakey!" I hope someone had sunscreen!