This is a picture of Cupcake after she climbed into her toy doll stroller, all by herself, and managed to get herself stuck. What's funny about this isn't that it happened at all, but that it's already happened more than once. Kids. Heh.
12.09.2008
So Big
This is a picture of Cupcake after she climbed into her toy doll stroller, all by herself, and managed to get herself stuck. What's funny about this isn't that it happened at all, but that it's already happened more than once. Kids. Heh.
12.06.2008
Um, The HELL?
No pix yet, sorry. The Cupcake Cam shots from the Christmas party the other night are all awful: she's either crying (Santa) or crazy-eyed (pony). Trying for better shots today at the Legion shindig.
Also, confidential to my sister / babysitter: WTF happened last night? Did the cats give you any trouble? It smells like they threw a kegger in the basement. Good Lord.
Also, confidential to my sister / babysitter: WTF happened last night? Did the cats give you any trouble? It smells like they threw a kegger in the basement. Good Lord.
12.05.2008
Cupcake Update
(1) Went to a party last Saturday night, didn't get la -- wait. WRONG STORY. Went to a party last night, and discovered that Cupcake will do whatever she can to smuggle ponies home from the circus, but she is terrified of Santa Claus. Maybe it's because the role of "Santa" was played by an unfortunate-looking halitosis-afflicted undergrad at a weensy little Catholic liberal arts college, or maybe it's just because it is kind of creepy to sit on a strange man's lap. Unless you're into that sort of thing. Or you work at Scores. In any case, I figure that once Cupcake makes the connection that Santa Claus equals presents, she'll be all right with it.
(2) Yesterday I discovered that Cupcake knows what a pigeon is, and can pick one of when there are several birds sitting on a telephone wire on my car, obviously plotting how they can cover the maximum square footage of Volkswagen with poop by doing the minimum amount of work. "Look, Mommy, pigeon!" It kind of freaks me out a little when she speaks in discernible words and complete sentences. Although it is reassuring that she will probably never qualify for a role on Rock of Love since she is already functionally literate.
(3) Company Christmas party tonight! Whee! That has nothing to do with Cupcake, but if you get drunk-dialled tonight, now you know why.
Hope to post assorted pics over the weekend. Peace out.
(2) Yesterday I discovered that Cupcake knows what a pigeon is, and can pick one of when there are several birds sitting on a telephone wire on my car, obviously plotting how they can cover the maximum square footage of Volkswagen with poop by doing the minimum amount of work. "Look, Mommy, pigeon!" It kind of freaks me out a little when she speaks in discernible words and complete sentences. Although it is reassuring that she will probably never qualify for a role on Rock of Love since she is already functionally literate.
(3) Company Christmas party tonight! Whee! That has nothing to do with Cupcake, but if you get drunk-dialled tonight, now you know why.
Hope to post assorted pics over the weekend. Peace out.
12.03.2008
And Now For Something Completely Different
Five totally random things that I love about the holiday season that have absolutely bugger-all to do with presents:
1. Clementines. Also called "Algerian tangerines," which sounds so sexy and exotic, doesn't it? There is something so right and perfect about these bright and happy oranges in the wintertime, and especially around Christmas when the nights are at their longest and the little bit of remaining daylight is consumed by stress, fatigue, ennui, and (in my case anyway) the annual bout of seasonal depression. They are easy to peel, easier to snarf down, and I have yet to meet a person who doesn't like them. Even the smell of them is cheery. When I pack my lunches I need to limit myself to only two per day, or I would finish the whole box before I got a single present wrapped.
2. "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits -- the complete 8:26 full-length version. This is a song that I came to adore later in life than I should have; for years, I claimed to "hate" this song because of the 1986 MTV Video Music Awards, where this video beat out a-ha's "Take On Me" for Video of the Year. I still contend that the latter video is far superior, but I'd have to (continue to) be an asshole to insist that Knopfler's song isn't infinitely better. Plus, it was parodied by Weird Al, so you know it's good. This song is the perfect antidote for those all-holiday-music-all-the-time radio stations, especially when the stereo is turned up to 11.
3. The smell of snow. I am not a big fan of driving in inclement weather, but after a lifetime of living in the Northeast and especially after four winters in Syracuse, I have learned to love it when the afternoons get cold and the skies turn that particular shade of grey and the air smells clean and frosty. If you close your eyes tight and pay special attention, you can also detect the slightest aroma of rich hot chocolate with extra milk and lots of Marshmallow Fluff and maybe some freshly-baked snickerdoodles. Or maybe that's just me.
4. Old holiday movies on cable. Blasphemer though I may be, I have never been a fan of "It's a Wonderful Life" (face it, Capra was the U.S.'s answer to Leni Riefenstahl, and Riefenstahl was better at her job), but I am apparently genetically programmed to be unable to turn off "A Christmas Story" or "A Muppet Christmas Carol" or "White Christmas" if I come across them. Same with the new classics that I associate with Christmas lately: "Bridget Jones's Diary" and especially "Love Actually."
5. Christmas cards. Love to get them, but I love to send them, too. Even though I usually send out about 850 squillion every year, it is still one of my favorite things to do to prepare for the holidays. Sometimes it takes months to find the perfect cards, sometimes only seconds, but it really is one of my favorite things to do in December. Because I am some kind of masochist or something.
1. Clementines. Also called "Algerian tangerines," which sounds so sexy and exotic, doesn't it? There is something so right and perfect about these bright and happy oranges in the wintertime, and especially around Christmas when the nights are at their longest and the little bit of remaining daylight is consumed by stress, fatigue, ennui, and (in my case anyway) the annual bout of seasonal depression. They are easy to peel, easier to snarf down, and I have yet to meet a person who doesn't like them. Even the smell of them is cheery. When I pack my lunches I need to limit myself to only two per day, or I would finish the whole box before I got a single present wrapped.2. "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits -- the complete 8:26 full-length version. This is a song that I came to adore later in life than I should have; for years, I claimed to "hate" this song because of the 1986 MTV Video Music Awards, where this video beat out a-ha's "Take On Me" for Video of the Year. I still contend that the latter video is far superior, but I'd have to (continue to) be an asshole to insist that Knopfler's song isn't infinitely better. Plus, it was parodied by Weird Al, so you know it's good. This song is the perfect antidote for those all-holiday-music-all-the-time radio stations, especially when the stereo is turned up to 11.
3. The smell of snow. I am not a big fan of driving in inclement weather, but after a lifetime of living in the Northeast and especially after four winters in Syracuse, I have learned to love it when the afternoons get cold and the skies turn that particular shade of grey and the air smells clean and frosty. If you close your eyes tight and pay special attention, you can also detect the slightest aroma of rich hot chocolate with extra milk and lots of Marshmallow Fluff and maybe some freshly-baked snickerdoodles. Or maybe that's just me.
4. Old holiday movies on cable. Blasphemer though I may be, I have never been a fan of "It's a Wonderful Life" (face it, Capra was the U.S.'s answer to Leni Riefenstahl, and Riefenstahl was better at her job), but I am apparently genetically programmed to be unable to turn off "A Christmas Story" or "A Muppet Christmas Carol" or "White Christmas" if I come across them. Same with the new classics that I associate with Christmas lately: "Bridget Jones's Diary" and especially "Love Actually."
5. Christmas cards. Love to get them, but I love to send them, too. Even though I usually send out about 850 squillion every year, it is still one of my favorite things to do to prepare for the holidays. Sometimes it takes months to find the perfect cards, sometimes only seconds, but it really is one of my favorite things to do in December. Because I am some kind of masochist or something.
12.01.2008
Tree 2008
Attention, ladies and gentlemen -- praise the Lord, for the goddamn tree is done. Alert the media, and then send liquor. Lots and lots of liquor.
A few things I have learned about doing up a tree this year: don't do it with a toddler around. Wait until they're in bed or with grandma or off to college, because if you think that getting your tree done right is hard when it's just the two of you and some cats ... well, imagine that multiplied by about 1,000. And then add in some whining and some "Blue's Clues." And did I mention please send liquor?
Another thing is: I always, ALWAYS, buy too many lights. I don't know where I come up with my lightage calculations, but they're just flat-out wrong. We had to buy new everythings this year because when we cleaned out Cupcake's room we misplaced half our lives. I had some really nice gold star ornaments from the year we got married -- gone without a trace. Awesome (and highly coveted) frosted globe lights -- missing in action. Poof! I thought some stuff was in my parents' garage, but apparently they were only able to find my Easter lights (LOL WUT?) ... which, if I recall correctly, were in a box labeled "Halloween" (WTF?!?).
So, anyway, the details: Fraser fir, approximately 7½' tall, fresh cut. "Vintage" cast iron stand (which means "I don't remember when we bought it"). Two strings of clear 100-count mini lights and two strings of clear 70-count globe lights. Six gold-and-silver 8-point star ornaments, six gold-and-silver pointed-oval-shaped finial ornaments, six gold balls (three shiny and three frosted), six silver balls (three shiny and three frosted), two jingle acorns, one gold apple and one gold pear. We used gold and silver scroll ornament hangers and everything is plugged into a green indoor extension cord. No partridge, sorry!
No tree topper -- not yet anyway -- because the one we bought was multicolored (scandal! vomit! seizures!) and was therefore promptly returned. Don't know that one is really necessary, but I will keep my eyes out for a nice one anyway. Hello, Martha Stewart complex! I also bought three extra strings of clear 100-count lights which are going back. Because AH MAH GAH, did I think I was lighting Rockefeller Center, or what?
Tree, lights, star ornaments, finial ornaments, ornament hangers all from Lowe's. Balls from Wal-Mart. Fruit ornaments, acorns, tree stand all from private collection (read: rockle's basement).
Another thing is: I always, ALWAYS, buy too many lights. I don't know where I come up with my lightage calculations, but they're just flat-out wrong. We had to buy new everythings this year because when we cleaned out Cupcake's room we misplaced half our lives. I had some really nice gold star ornaments from the year we got married -- gone without a trace. Awesome (and highly coveted) frosted globe lights -- missing in action. Poof! I thought some stuff was in my parents' garage, but apparently they were only able to find my Easter lights (LOL WUT?) ... which, if I recall correctly, were in a box labeled "Halloween" (WTF?!?).
So, anyway, the details: Fraser fir, approximately 7½' tall, fresh cut. "Vintage" cast iron stand (which means "I don't remember when we bought it"). Two strings of clear 100-count mini lights and two strings of clear 70-count globe lights. Six gold-and-silver 8-point star ornaments, six gold-and-silver pointed-oval-shaped finial ornaments, six gold balls (three shiny and three frosted), six silver balls (three shiny and three frosted), two jingle acorns, one gold apple and one gold pear. We used gold and silver scroll ornament hangers and everything is plugged into a green indoor extension cord. No partridge, sorry!
No tree topper -- not yet anyway -- because the one we bought was multicolored (scandal! vomit! seizures!) and was therefore promptly returned. Don't know that one is really necessary, but I will keep my eyes out for a nice one anyway. Hello, Martha Stewart complex! I also bought three extra strings of clear 100-count lights which are going back. Because AH MAH GAH, did I think I was lighting Rockefeller Center, or what?
Tree, lights, star ornaments, finial ornaments, ornament hangers all from Lowe's. Balls from Wal-Mart. Fruit ornaments, acorns, tree stand all from private collection (read: rockle's basement).
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