The X-(mas) Files

It's been a long time since I made a proper list for Santa, so the details are fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure there was never a year when I asked for only one thing for Christmas. Even now, in my old age, my list contains multiple items, to wit:

1. New lens for the fancy camera
2. New flash for the fancy camera
3. ???
4. Profit!

So it's something of a shock to me, material girl living in a material world that I am, that my 2½-year-old has been asking for one thing, and one thing only, this year. What she wants for Christmas is ... a camera.

I shouldn't be surprised, I guess -- this poor kid lives her life on film, unfortunately, because I am that mom, and she gets her picture taken at least once a week doing every frickin' random thing she does except pooping. (Oh, c'mon, I do have my limits.) Ever since she got her grubby mitts on the "baby" camera back in August, she's been asking for a camera of her own.

But what does amaze me is how familiar all of this seems. The fixation, the single-mindedness of purpose. The stubbornness. That's how I get when I find something I really want: a cashmere scarf, an iPhone, a baby. I can't talk about anything else. It's all I can think about. Something I can always picture myself being and doing and using. Kind of like with the writing, and why I started a blog in the first place. I've got all this stuff, and I need to get it out.

This is how Shae has been with the camera, and even if there was ever a doubt about what we are getting her for Christmas -- and there wasn't, anyway -- even if G and I could not agree on what the "big" gift would be this year, I would find away to get her what she wants. She has been all-camera, all-the-time since August, so come hell or high water, baby's getting a camera.

And personally, Mommy is thrilled, because it's one more thing that she and I can do together. I don't know and don't really care whether she'll grow up to be a professional photographer, but even if she's just an adventurous amateur, I am all about encouraging that kind of creative self-expression. Especially when it means that we're not going to dye the cats with Manic Panic, or paint on the sofa.