- I think a piece of one of my wisdom teeth chipped off today -- it didn't hurt, but I'm afraid to go to the dentist to have it looked at.
- Because, after living with my Type-I diabetic father for 25 years, I kind of really hate needles an awful lot.
- Also, I am afraid to be judged by a masochist who spends every day poking at people's gums until they bleed.
- If I ever had to choose between giving up Mountain Dew forever, or death, I am pretty sure that I would choose death.
- With absolute 100% certainty, I can say that I never want to meet my daughter's birth parents, and I never want her to want to meet them, either.
- I once told a Navy recruiter that I was a flat-footed lesbian Communist so that he would stop calling me, and I will never regret that.
- Toys that make noise make me batshit butternuts crazy, and I really want to smash the Cupcake's "Chicken Dance Elmo" doll with a sledgehammer.
- All other things being equal, if my husband were a Republican or a fan of either Notre Dame or the Dallas Cowboys, I don't think I would have married him.
- We didn't have our wedding pictures put into a photo album until 2007 -- 8½ years after we were married.
- I know even without the benefit of therapy that I developed a sense of humor as a self-defense mechanism, to cover for being insecure about my looks.
- Also, I learned to cook as a back-up plan, in case being funny and having big boobs failed to ever get me laid.
- Honest to God, I think Barbies are evil, and I am not-so-secretly thrilled that Cupcake's Christmas "fashion doll" is in pieces all over the living room.
- If I ever win the lottery, the first thing I am doing is leaving the country and buying a house near the beach on an island somewhere.
- The last time I went to church completely voluntarily to pray for anything was when I was in 11th grade -- the last 18 years have all been for show.
- I believe that this is part of the reason why I haven't gotten pregnant, but I am too proud to grovel before anybody, including God.
- Yes, I am aware that my relationship with the Creator is pretty fucked up, and I am pretty sure He knows it, too.
- Grammar, punctuation, and especially spelling are important to me, and I judge pretty harshly people who make stupid mistakes in business emails.
- I don't believe for one second that Ben Affleck deserved his Oscar for "Good Will Hunting," and it will always piss me off that he has an Academy Award and I don't.
- The thing I dread most about parenting is the day that I have to explain to the Cupcake how and why she came to be our daughter.
- I am terrified that when that day comes, she will start to hate me, and that I will never be able to get her to love me again.
- If we had everything to do all over again, I think I would have asked for a bigger engagement ring and a smaller wedding.
- Some of the parents at Cupcake's school kind of skeeve me out, and I am doing everything I can to get her away from their kids.
- Not once, not ever, not on one occasion in my life did I ever smoke pot, and every once in a while I regret being so paranoid in my youth.
- Before I die, I would like to spend an entire vacation at a nudist resort or, at the very least, I would like to spend time on a nude beach.
- The idea of a Brazilian wax intrigues me, and I wonder what "it" would be like afterwards, but I am terrified that I would be laughed right out of the salon.
So, I got tagged for one of those things on Facebook, and I don't actually have 25 Facebook friends with whom I can share this, so I'm just putting this stuff out here on the blog for God and everybody to see. You're welcome. Here are 25 random things about me: