Over and Done

Shae's last swimming class for the spring was the Saturday before Easter. So these are the last pictures you'll see of her swimming for a few weeks, until Memorial Day or so, when we head out to California for the big vacation that I need so badly I just cannot even tell you. For serious: this will be the longest three weeks of my life, I think. I should probably start with the daytime drinking right now, but they continue to refuse to put vodka in the vending machine at work, those bastards.

I'm not sure what, exactly, Shae got out of these classes. She learned to float on her back, and she learned a lot of basic water safety, like not to go into water that is deeper than she can stand in unless she has some kind of PFD -- I think she might have known that already, but it's good to get reinforcement on this point from someone who is not me. Mostly we had an excuse to get out of the house for the last few months. I guess I'll take what I can get.

Once we get back from the O.C., summer will have officially started, and I'm going to find someone to give Shae lessons on the weekends. Lord knows she won't listen to me, but basically everybody else in my entire family is on a swim team or coaches a swim team or whatever -- I'm pretty much the only slacker ex-swimmer I know -- so I'm sure that someone would be willing to spend an hour a week in the pool for a few bucks. Probably the college-age kids. It's not like the have much else to do except mow lawns or whatever else The Kids doing for beer money these days. (No, I don't want to know. Don't tell me. And get a haircut. And get a real job. And get off my lawn!)

(Although, college-age cousins: If you read this, let me know your starting price. I was thinking $5, a bag of Doritos, and your choice of icy-cold beverage per lesson, but I am willing to negotiate. We can potentially get as high as $10 per lesson, but then the beverage is off the table because I Am Not Made Of Money. And also, you'll have to share the Doritos with Shae and her tapeworm with the hollow leg.)