All Points Bulletin

We interrupt our coverage of the last few pool-noodle-infused days of summer to bring you this urgent back-to-school-time bulletin.

Who is this mysterious young woman, and what has she done with my baby girl? Bring her back, or I'm selling her stuff.

Also: PUMPKINS? Already? I am not ready for the fall, not entirely -- although I have plans for this autumn that I better get working on. But still. I see pumpkins and I think of delicious, delicious pie and then I start feeling cold and old down to my bones and I just can't deal with it, okay?