The Geekest Place on Earth



The sweetest place on Earth just got nerdier. And just in time for the annual company picnic tomorrow, too! That little Kiss in the app icon holds so much power. For one thing, there is a park map.


Look, I am totally directionally challenged, and even more so when I am surrounded by eleventy thousand people and screaming children and heat and humidity and the heady seductive smell of freshly-made kettle corn, so it's nice to know that I can click something and the GPS locator will GPS-locate me and tell me where the bathrooms or the Ferris Wheel or the smoking sections are. Because COME ON: amusement park in July? On what is always one of the hottest days of the summer? If I could, I'd be chain-smoking.

Truth is, we'll be spending most of our time in the Boardwalk area, and then in the picnic area where we'll be getting lunch, but Shae's going to want to go on some rides -- she loved them last year, and I'm sure this year will be no different.

Ride Selector

We'll be able to find out which ones are appropriate for her height range. I think this year she's eligible for an upgrade. (I'm still not even a Jolly Rancher, and I am 36-goddamn-years-old.)

Ride List By Height

When we see something that looks cool, we can verify that it isn't going to be too exciting. No Sooperdooperlooper, at least not yet.

Ride Info

And then click that little crosshairs to find the ride on the map.

Ride Locator

And then we're back where we started. We'll be able to do the same thing for shows, too. And we can find out if any rides are out of commission for the day, and also we'll be able to conveniently locate the smoking sections. Which I might have mentioned, but COME ON.

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