Bag Lady

I didn't get pictures of the new backpack in action yesterday, because I'm a slack-ass, so let's play a super-fun game on this cruddy Tuesday, OK? This game is called "Guess How Insane This Woman Is Based On The Contents Of Her Pocketbook." Ready? Go!

Many years ago B.C. (before child), back when I was in my 20's, I used to be able to get away with teeny little purses. I only needed something to hold my keys, debit card, driver's license, cash, cigarettes, lighter, and cell phone -- and in the winter I could get away with keeping my keys and my smokes in my coat pocket, so I needed to fit even less in my handbag. All I really needed was a wristlet.

As I got older and more like My Anonymous Mother, I started needing more stuff. I can't live without my iPhone any more (not shown because I was using it for the picture). Tylenol, always. Chap Stik or other lip balm. Usually I have tissues or napkins in my purse, but I must be out of them right now. For almost a year I couldn't go anywhere without Tic-Tacs, and I went through a three-year phase where I ate Certs like they were going out of style. (Is there rehab for Retsyn addicts?) I used to keep a travel spritzer of perfume, but it looks like I stopped doing that, although I can't remember when.

Now a good 50% of my bag space is taken up by non-essential junk, but I have a hard time editing down to what I really actually need and what I just might need. Like, do I really need to have half a dozen Boogie Wipes? Well, you never know. Do I really need three lighters? Yes, because people are thieves. Do I really need to carry that whole prescription bottle around for half a pill? Then what else will I do with it?

I kind of miss the days when I could carry everything I needed in basically my jacket pockets, but at the same time, it's kind of reassuring to think that I am no longer a person unto myself any more -- people depend on me and the secret weapons I keep hidden in my handbag.Plus, now I carry a big enough bag that I can sneak candy and salty snacks into the movies. Being old and wily has its advantages.

This post was inspired by the "What's In Your Bag?" project, which I learned about from Photojojo.