Today my sister goes back to Chicago, and for a few days anyway, I go back to my routine. Of course I have off again on Friday, and that will be a whole different adventure, because if the weather is decent we're off then to Pittsburgh for the weekend, for my cousin's wedding and a visit with another cousin who lives out that way. My sister and brother-in-law and nephew will also be there, hopefully, so the whole gang will be together again. Or most of us, anyway. Some of us.
Still, that is an exception to the rule, and not the way things usually are. It's always hard for me to "turn it back on" once I have to go back to regular life after I have spent time with my nephew and my sister. I'm sad, sort of, but not exactly -- I can't really explain it. Most of the time, we are okay with us being here and her being there, but when we are all together, the distance is sharper, somehow. Every time I have to say goodbye, it gets harder, and I don't know why.
So I think I'm going to stop saying it. No more big production numbers, no more singing "so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night." It's too much. I don't like it, and I don't want to do it any more. I'm just going to start leaving the room and hope that no one gets offended.
it will get worse...the goodbyes!!!
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