Christmas Wrapping

Incidentally: I was at Kohl's the other day, shopping for assorted nonsense and also this giant 2-pound bedazzled "S" Christmas ornament, and I heard a REALLY BAD COVER of The Waitresses' classic tune. And I swear to God, I right about had a heart attack in the store, because I could tell from the singing that the "artist" is a kid. I mean, like, an actual kid, not just someone younger than I am (although I am feeling so old these days that I am practically my own grandmother). Can't tell exactly who sang it -- once I realized about 5 bars in that this was not MY version of the song, I sort of stuck my fingers in my ears and starting singing "lalalalalalala" to myself to drown out the racket, and get off my lawn you damn kids! -- but as far as I can tell, it is someone called Miranda Cosgrove, from some Nickelodeon show that I have never heard of called "iCarly," and this person was literally not even born when the original version of the song came out.

Bah humbug, indeed!

Anyway, this is not about this kind of Christmas wrapping:

Although, hooray! I finally got some stuff wrapped! Of course, I have these ghetto-ass dollar-store gift tags? And they're like all waxy or something? So I can't write on them with just regular pen? But instead I need to use a Sharpie? And I can't find one? So nothing has a name tag on it yet? And I hope I don't accidentally give my father any of the gifts that I got for my nephew? Because that would be awkward? But anyway?

This is about this kind of wrapping:

Where your kid takes some reusable Target shopping bags and decides to wrap herself up in them to turn herself into a "wild thing" and why oh why did I spend all that money on presents when it's already evident that she's going to be more interested in the shiny things and wrapping paper? Sigh. She reminds me of someone or something, wish I could remember who ...

Oh yeah. The cats. Boogers.

And seriously: what the hell is an iCarly? Get off my lawn! And stay out!