3.10.2009

Three Little Words

A word of warning: this may be (almost definitely is) one of my gooshier posts. I tried writing this already with snark, but I just can't make it happen. It is what it is, the heart wants what it wants, etc.

To be honest, just thinking about everything that happened yesterday makes me well up. Not a super-big deal: we went to the County Government Center to sign paperwork to proceed with the adoption. Every family who adopts out of foster care must do something similar at some point.

It is routine paperwork. A lot of "acknowledge"s and "recognize"s and "agree"s and "certify"s and "we the undersigned"s blah-blah-blah-biddy-blah. Sign your name here and here and down there, date, initial, space for notary stamps, in triplicate. Legalese and esquirespeak.

And in the middle of the first paragraph on the second page, this ...

... made me lose my flippin' mind. I tried very hard to hold it together, but I'm not sure that I did. Maybe. I don't think I cried out loud in that conference room, but I sure got some looks.

Seeing our daughter's name, or rather her name-to-be, right there in black and white? Unbelievably overwhelming. Throughout this process, she has been referred to by names given by other people -- her birth mother, her previous foster family.

But this name? This one came from us, and on that document, it was the first time I had ever seen it in print, officially, on a piece of paper that mattered. Our Cupcake, our boo-boo kitty, will soon have a new name, and it is ours.

Even when I look at it now, I feel a lot of things, so many things, so quickly and suddenly that my breath catches. I picture the new birth certificate, and adoption notices, and graduation announcements, and wedding invitations and then the room starts spinning.

It's a simple thing, I guess, to see your kid's name in print, but when you've tried so hard and waited so long and you know the end is near ... well, those seventeen letters up there? They make up the most beautiful three little words that I have ever seen.

5 comments:

  1. oh my GOODNESS!! that name does look absolutely perfect. but what happened to joylynn or lynnjoy for the middle name?!?! ;-)

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  2. marie is the middle name she came with. we're changing the first and the last, i figure she might as well get to keep SOME of the factory equipment.

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  3. sounds like a plan to me ;-) any idea how long this is going to take now?

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  4. what we just signed goes to the lawyer, and then she does up the petition, and then we sign it, and then it gets filed. that whole process could conceivably be done this week.

    after that, we just wait for confirmation of our court date. we are still shooting for 4/15, but if we don't make it, the next available date is 5/22.

    so Really Not Long At All, now.

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  5. Those are the most beautiful 3 words seen in print. Well for me anyway. Joey's name is handsome in print. Can't wait until she is officially a Gonzales although I already treat her like she is!

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