finally got around to asking Cupcake what this toy is called, and she told me it's a "car" -- which probably explains all the strange looks I have been getting when I told her to go ride her "scooter" so Mommy can gank some noobs.
What? Why wouldn't I call it a scooter? What would you call it? We haven't let her watch "Return of the Jedi" yet, so it's not like I could reasonably expect her to know what a "speeder bike" is, and that's what this car really reminds me of.
No, I don't know why. But you people already know I'm crazy. (Oh, and for the record? I totally prefer the blue-and-red version over this pink-and-baby-blue monstrosity, but it was free from the neighbor lady, and Cupcake loves it, so we're stuck.)