Picture it: Sicily, 1917. No, wait, wrong story. Let me start over ... ahem. Now then.

Picture it: Phillipsburg, 2007. Sunday morning. 7:15 AM. Clear, bright, and NINE DEGREES. We made a brief stop at the 25th Street Dunkin Donuts for some hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, and then we were on our way. We were up late the night before due to some ... uh, shenanigans ... so we are still half-asleep, greasy-haired, and booger-lashed, but still and all, it is a lovely day, and We Are On A Mission From God. Ever so optimistically, we head over the bridge into New Jersey, even though it is only NINE DEGREES.

We miss the turn-off from Route 22 at first, but eventually we pull into the Target parking lot, our Spidey-senses tingling, only partly because it is NINE DEGREES outside. There is also a Circuit City in this shopping center, and there is a Toys-Backward-R-Us across the road, so we're trying to gauge where we're going to have the best luck. Because, let's face it: What we're looking for, the good stuff, is in short supply these days. Nobody has any. We drove to every single store in the world on Friday, when it wasn't NINE DEGREES, and we came back with nada. Zero. Zilch. Nuthin'. Or, as they say in Spaceballs, "We ain't found shit."

Long story short, because I am getting tired of writing trying to figure out how to fit NINE DEGREES in to every paragraph in a place where it makes some kind of sense, plus I want to commence with the entertainment: WE GOT A WII! The P'burg Target only had 7 (!!) and we got ticket #6 (!!). We got in line at 7:15 for the store's opening at 8AM -- some people pulled up at 7:50 and later, only to be turned away, because all the consoles available had been claimed. The Circuit City in the same plaza started issuing vouchers at 8:00 for a 10AM opening, and forget about Toys-Backward-R-Us. There was already a 40-person line at 7:00. Some people apparently got in line at 4 in the morning, the fools.

Wii's are cool, yo. Get one. And if you have one? Send me a message -- DO NOT POST TO THE BLOG, FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY -- and we can do the parade of Mii's, or whatever you call it. Ryan's the tech guy. I just kick eleventy kinds of ass at Wii Sports Bowling. Even if it is only NINE DEGREES.

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