Things Unnoticed At The Time

I don't remember much about the swirling days, the week or so, before my wedding. There was, as there always is, so much going on: final arrangements to be made, last-minute changes causing last-minute complications, decisions, delegations, dereliction of other duties. Too little sleep and too much caffeine, too many thoughts and too few ideas. Life happening while we were busy making other plans.

Columbine happened the week before I got married, and I don't remember hearing about it until we were in church that day. I don't remember thinking about it until we were on our honeymoon, one night in Disney World, while we were watching the news. Maybe it didn't actually happen this way, but I remember telling G: "Why didn't anybody tell me about this?" There are so many things I just don't remember.

It's nice to be on this side of things, even though this is not the first time I have been a bridesmaid since being a bride. At this point I have done all I can to help except be there to watch a woman become a wife, and all that is left to do is enjoy the ride. It will be bumpy, at moments, because wedding days always are. But those bumpy roads are the ones that, over time, become shiny cobblestone streets, interesting and meandering and endless.

While I was trying to decide what to write about for today, probably the last "good" blog entry before the big day, I kept finding all these pictures that I don't ever remember seeing. I've had these pictures for 10 years, and I swear to God, I haven't seen them all before. Kind of like life, I guess, and like marriage: the best ones are the ones that are constantly surprising. Familiarity breeds contempt, and all that.

I guess my point is -- and once in a while, I do actually have one -- who knows what my sister is going to remember about her wedding day? And really, what does it matter? My wedding day was awesome, I'm sure, but I don't remember most of it. I remember saying and hearing "I do," and that's about it. And that's okay, because one day does not make a marriage. Because life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. And because memories are made out of things unnoticed at the time.*

All photographs by my fantastic wedding photographer, Troy Schnyder.

* From Barbara Kingsolver; wish I could take credit, but these words are hers.