You know the Mom I am talking about -- the one who never goes on play dates because all the other parents think she's an over-protective ultra-high-maintenance wackadoodle who never lets her kid have any fun. And worse, she has all these restrictions on food.
The fact is -- and I will finally admit it -- I do have this thing about what we feed the Cupcake. We are trying, very hard, and sometimes against the grain, to set a better example for our kid than we ourselves follow.
I mean, I don't remember when I started defining the four food groups as "the salty snack group," "the sweet snack group," "the caffeinated group," and "other," but I am trying like hell to keep Cupcake from following the same dietary guidelines.
So, yes, sometimes, especially when we are around other people like my mother who want to spoil Cupcake rotten and give her every little thing her heart desires, sometimes I seem like a hardass when I have to say, "Dammit, Mom, don't give the baby fudge for lunch!"
I mean, I am not a food nazi or anything like that. Yes, she sometimes has meals that are not necessarily fully nutritionally balanced. There are nights when she doesn't want anything but pineapple and string cheese and crackers for dinner. We have mornings when she cries if I try to give her one more bite of yogurt. Right now all we want to do is smoosh our bananas in our fingers and throw the mush at the cat.
But is it so wrong, really, that when I plan her meals, I try to make sure that there is at least one lean protein and one fruit or vegetable on the menu? Is it that crazy that we want to encourage her to believe that cherries and graham crackers are perfectly acceptable for dessert? Am I really a terrible mother because I only let her have a little bit of ice cream and Jell-O, and that I cut her juice with water so that she doesn't get hopped up on sugar?
I don't think so, because then on the rare occasions when we do have sweets, like at birthday parties and baby showers, we are very very happy about it: