In Sickness and In Health

So, here is the part of parenting that I most dreaded all along, even before I had kids of my own: the part where I have to take my child into the pediatrician for a well-baby visit, and I try to study up to determine if hypochondria is a learned behavior, or an instinctual one, or just annoying.

As you know, I am a lunatic crazy person who suffers from hypochondria and, therefore, every dread disease known to man except AIDS at this point. I have migraines, PCOS, "severe recurring depression without psychotic episodes," a fatty liver, and recent possible brain damage from being whapped about the head and shoulders over the last month by heavy, noisy, possibly-lead-filled infant toys.

And when it was just me, I knew I had this weirdness, and I just dealt with it, you know? Like, when I had sinus congestion, it always swirled around the back of my mind that there could be any number of things wrong with me -- brain tumor, ricin poisoning, whooping cough, nasal polyps. But usually, I just took some Sudafed, Claritin, and some combination of Tylenol and/or Advil and/or Aleve and/or vodka and called it a day.

But now, there is this wee little creature* involved, and everything changes. When something happens to her, I can't panic, because if I get upset then she'll get upset, and then we'll get stuck in a vortex of wailing and sobbing that is going to end with both of us on the floor in the fetal position, blubbering and runny-nosed and begging for a bottle. And we already have enough of that when we don't get our naps.

So I had to take her in for her 12-month well-baby visit today, and I did what is maybe the smartest parenting-related thing I could have done: I stayed the bloody hell away from the internet. I know how dangerous the internet can be for a hypochondriac, and I knew what road I might have been heading down, especially because I knew in advance that this particular visit was going to involve ... dun-dun-DUUUUN ... vaccinations.

DISCLAIMER: I am not fucking going there, OK? Kids need shots, and the state requires that my kid gets these shots, and there was not going to be an argument from me. I don't know shit about shit, but I do know that even though I've only met this doctor one time, I trust him implicitly, because his primary concern is for my daughter. So I did what he said.

What I didn't know about? Was the blood work. Pennsylvania now requires screening for lead exposure for all children under age 5. (Wonder why they didn't do this when I was a kid, and gnawed on lead paint chips for a hobby? Would have been useful, I think.) Poor kid had to be poked in the arm four times today** -- so needless to say, I am not her best friend right now. But a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.

The upsides -- and yes, there are some: The pediatrician said she is doing is really well. Her weight and height gains are right on target, as are all her other developmental indicators. She was cheerful and verbal and appropriately curious. We talked about her feeding, and he said we are doing the right things so far, and can start switching her from formula and baby foods to whole milk and table foods.

He also said that we, G and I, seem to be doing a good job, because she was all lovey-dovey with me, blowing kisses and saying some words and just generally being a great little well adjusted toddler. Which was maybe the most wonderful thing I've ever heard. Because maybe it's OK to be a little crazy, if you are doing it for the right reasons.

* Not so little, any more. 26 pounds and 31 inches. Half my height already!
** Snoopy Band-Aids!! How freaking cute is that?


  1. You've already been to a Phillies game? I am so jealous! And you need to teach her how to smile, at least to keep it long enough to show up in the photo ;-)

  2. IronPigs, actually. That's the new stadium in Allentown -- we have a season ticket plan, and we got to see the Phillies vs. IronPigs. So, OK, technically we've been to a Phillies game, but the starters were only in for like 2 innings, so it shouldn't even count.

    And apparently she only smiles for the camera when she has inappropriate things (e.g., sheets or underpants) on her head. We'll see what happens when she's covered in icing.

    It's me, Aruns, in case you don't recall pirate names =! real names :p

    Where have you been?!

    You don't show up, you don't call, you don't send any Pirate Mail or any sort of bottled communication at all, then I hear you have a blog and I'm like "She has time and internet access enough to blog but not to visit us, not even to let us know about the blog? That sucks!" and then I come here to read and find out you adopted a baby girl and I'm like "Whaaaaaaaa that's fricking AWESOME!" And she's the cutest thing evah and you're all mommy-rockle but then I'm like "But she has the time to blog about it but she can't even come over and TELL us?!!? That sucks!" :p

    You know me hun, I'm just kidding, although I AM just a little disappointed not to have heard about it sooner and followed the whole thing as it progressed :):p

    I'm very happy for you hun, you seem even happier than that so wheee, I'm happier than that too! :D

    Best of luck and all things good to the three of you, may you figure everything out (I'm sure you will) or at least just enough to still keep you guessing, after all, what's life without a few cliffhangers? ;)

    I'll try to check in every now and again, if I don't you can always drop in and pull my ear about it (you know where to find me :p)

    Much love,

  4. oh, man ... lucy has some 'splaining to do. as you have no doubt noticed, i haven't been around YPP much lately. part of that is because of the dramz that went down, part of that is because i started playing WOW because it's something me and hubby can do together, part of it is because when i came back after a brief hiatus there was additional drama going on, but a big part of that is because of the baby.

    she was a COMPLETE SURPRISE to us, believe me. we tried to have a baby of our own for years, and then we waited some more years to adopt, and then just when we had given up: boom! surprise! you've been picked! and nothing has been the same since.

    sorry you guys were left out of the loop. things happened at LIGHT SPEED, literally, and we didn't have time to get our asses together before our perspectives were forcibly shifted. of course now you know where to find me so you can stay up to date with the shenanigans.

    i promise i will stop in soon to say hello and spread the word, just as soon as i get a spare minute to OH MY GOD WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THE REMOTE CONTROL AND ARE YOU WEARING MY BRA ON YOUR HEAD COME BACK HERE YOU!

    xoxoxo, rockle.

  5. Well, the drama's gone now. We settled ASF affairs finally, it's now preserved in a Cryogenic state for when the doctors find a cure to its problems :p

    Ponderites went basically three ways, some stayed in pondera, some went to L&L (Rumsundae's crew) and other went to TMTP (my crew) Now we're all a happy bunch having fun, as it should be :p
    Nice to see you drop by, even if quickly :)

    many hugs


  6. I know that you're not going there - but Rockle, one of the very best things to do for your child is to trust your instincts - AND KIDS NEED SHOTS!!! Also - perfect parenting doesn't exist, and when parents try to be perfect, their kids write nasty tell-alls - you're funny, flexible, silly, smart and honest. That's perfect parenting.

  7. (Whitehawk here, no questions..)


    I'm so happy for you!

    You've got a beautifull girl, that chews on barbie tents! (I knew that some girls hate barbies :P)

    Well.. *hug*

    Cya soon in PP!

  8. Hahaha ... I hate Barbies too. Always did -- I used to take the heads off my Barbie dolls and complain that there wasn't anything inside. So when people threaten to give me their kids' old Barbies, I've been saying I don't want them unless they come with Tonka trucks or Legos. Does that make me a bad person? And do I really care?

  9. Hi rockle! sorry I've been MIA. Great to hear you and the family are doing great! I've started a blog myself. It's not half as interesting (trust me), but it's a way of keeping in touch.

    P.S Legos rule and barbies drool!