I got a certified letter once.
It was from my alma mater, writing to inform me that, although I completed all the requirements for graduation in a satisfactory manner (cum laude, actually), I would not be receiving my "actual" diploma (as opposed to the little paper thingy that they give you at the ceremony for looks), nor would they allow me to enroll for my free lifetime membership in the alumni association, until I paid my University Bookstore Charge Account in full.
Total amount due: $21.86 (including the charges to send my final statement via certified mail, which they so graciously passed on to me).
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